Coping with the end of a relationship can feel overwhelming, even when you know deep down that the breakup was the right choice. The loss of emotional connection, shared routines, and future plans can create intense distress, and this reaction is completely normal.
Breakups Can Hurt More Than We Expect
A breakup affects more than your romantic bond. It disrupts your sense of stability, identity, and the life you imagined with another person. This can trigger a mix of emotions, such as sadness, anger, confusion, fear, or even numbness. There is no “correct” way to feel after a breakup. Emotional ups and downs are a natural response to losing something meaningful. If your feelings seem inconsistent, intense, or unpredictable, just know that it doesn’t mean they’re wrong or need to be different.
How to Support Yourself Through the Healing Process
Most people don’t move through a breakup with perfect composure. The goal is not to “get over it” quickly, but to care for yourself while adjusting to a major life change. Some habits, like checking an ex’s social media or isolating yourself, can keep you stuck, while healthier approaches can support you to gently begin moving forward.
Here are steps that can make healing more manageable:
Create Small Daily Self-Care Rituals: Simple practices like journaling, meditation, walking, or stretching can help calm your mind and reconnect you with your body. A bit of structure can bring comfort when everything feels unfamiliar.
Respect Your Emotional Needs: Some days you might need to just chill, other days you you might need company or distraction. Your needs will shape shift - this is normal.
Allow Your Feelings to Move Naturally: Breakup healing is not linear. Feeling okay one day and devastated the next doesn’t mean you’re going backwards.
Prioritise The Basics: Sleep, Nutrition, Movement. These core habits help support emotional recovery more than we realise.
Rediscover What Brings You Joy: Exploring hobbies and interests can help you reconnect with your identity outside the relationship.
Why You Might Still Feel Stuck
Even with healthy coping strategies, a breakup can activate deeper emotional wounds formed earlier in life. These patterns can intensify your reaction and make healing more complicated.
Fear of Abandonment: If you hold a deep fear of being left or alone, a breakup may feel like confirmation of that belief, triggering panic or despair.
Struggles With Self-Worth: If your self-esteem was low before the breakup, the loss may amplify feelings of inadequacy or rejection.
Difficulty Trusting Others: If trust has always been a challenge, a breakup can reinforce beliefs that people are unsafe or unreliable.
People often respond to these painful feelings by shutting down emotionally, avoiding discomfort, or trying to control their environment. These strategies can protect you short-term but can also prolong deeper pain. That said, if you need to avoid these feelings for a bit, thats ok. None of this means there’s something wrong with you, these are just signs of emotional wounds that deserve understanding and care.
How Therapy Can Help You Heal After a Breakup
Many people seek therapy after a breakup because they need a safe, non-judgmental space to process their emotions. Therapy can help you to:
Make sense of you’re feelings
Validate your emotional experience
Identify unhelpful patterns that might be keeping you stuck
Identify healthier ways to cope
Explore deeper wounds that may have resurfaced
Build healthier relationships for the future
If you’re struggling with a break-up, and are looking for support, please feel free to reach out. We’re here to help.
