When Therapy Feels Like It Isn’t Working
Starting therapy can feel hopeful, but sometimes, after a few sessions, you may find yourself wondering whether you are actually making progress. You might feel stuck, frustrated, or even as though things are getting harder rather than better.
Progress in therapy is rarely a straight line. It can be subtle, non-linear, and sometimes uncomfortable. Feeling challenged or stuck does not automatically mean that therapy isn’t working. At the same time, if you consistently feel that therapy isn’t helping, it is worth paying attention to that experience.
Therapy is a collaborative process, and the approach, pace, goals, or therapeutic relationship can need to be adjusted throughout. So, what can you do when therapy doesn’t feel like it is working?
Understanding Why Therapy Might Feel Stalled
Therapy is a process, not a quick fix. Just like developing physical fitness, improving our mental health and wellbeing takes time, effort, and practice. There are also a number of reasons why therapy may feel stalled, particularly when we are expecting change to happen in a particular way or timeframe.
Our expectations
It is understandable to hope that therapy will provide immediate relief or a solution that makes the pain, distress, or problem go away. However, therapy generally does not work by eliminating difficult thoughts, feelings, or experiences altogether.
Instead, therapy may involve developing coping skills, building emotional awareness, changing patterns of thinking or behaviour, improving relationships, and learning how to respond differently when difficulties arise. These changes can take time, and there is no psychological skill that can simply prevent pain, suffering, or difficult experiences from having an impact on us.
Complex or long-standing issues
Some difficulties are more complex or have been present for a long time. Trauma, chronic stress, longstanding patterns of thinking and behaviour, and difficulties that have developed over many years may require more time to create lasting change.
Therapeutic fit matters
The relationship between you and your psychologist can also influence how useful therapy feels. Psychologists, like people, have different personalities, communication styles, areas of experience, and therapeutic approaches.
Sometimes the issue is not that therapy itself is ineffective, but that the current approach or therapeutic fit is not quite right for you. Finding the right psychologist can be a bit like finding your favourite pizza joint. You might try one pizza spot and realise that you just don't really like their style. That doesn't mean that pizza isn't for you.
Therapy can be similar. You might work with one psychologist and find that their style or approach doesn't quite suit you. Another psychologist may work in a way that feels more comfortable or better suited to what you need. Not finding the right fit with one psychologist doesn't mean therapy doesn't work for you. It may simply mean that a different approach or therapeutic relationship could be a better fit.
Talking about the fit with your psychologist can provide an opportunity to adjust how you are working together or to consider finishing up.
When Might Therapy Need Adjustment?
Therapy is not always comfortable. Growth can be challenging, confronting, and at times overwhelming. Difficult emotions can come up, particularly when exploring experiences or patterns that have been avoided for a long time.
However, there are times when ongoing difficulties may suggest that something about the treatment needs to change.
You feel consistently stuck
Feeling stuck from time to time is normal. However, if you consistently feel that you are not making progress, particularly after completing an agreed period of treatment, it may be worth stepping back and reviewing your goals and the approach being used.
Ask yourself: Are we working on the things I originally came to therapy for? Do I understand what we are working towards? Can I see any changes, even small ones, in my day-to-day life?
Sometimes the answer may be that progress is happening in ways you had not noticed. Other times, it may highlight the need to adjust the treatment.
You leave sessions feeling overwhelmed
Therapy can bring up intense emotions, and this can be a normal part of the process. However, if you consistently leave sessions feeling flooded, completely overwhelmed, or unable to regain a sense of control, it is important to discuss this with your psychologist.
Your psychologist may be able to adjust the intensity or pace of treatment and introduce additional strategies during or at the end of sessions, such as grounding, emotional containment, or other closure strategies.
The goal is not necessarily to eliminate strong emotions. Therapy can sometimes leave you feeling vulnerable. Rather, the aim is to help you leave sessions feeling that those emotions are manageable and that you have ways to regulate yourself afterwards.
You are finding it difficult to connect with your psychologist
A strong therapeutic relationship does not mean that you will always agree with your psychologist or feel comfortable in every session. However, feeling consistently misunderstood, disconnected, or unable to communicate openly can make it harder for therapy to be effective.
This is something that can be discussed openly. Your psychologist may be able to change their communication style, refocus the sessions, or approach particular issues differently.
Therapy Is a Shared Process
One of the most important things to remember is that therapy is a collaborative process.
Your psychologist has a responsibility to provide evidence-based treatment, monitor how you are progressing, check in about your experience, and adjust their approach when needed. This involves them regularly checking in with you, and asking questions such as:
“How did today’s session feel for you?”
“Did we focus on what you needed today?”
“Do you feel clearer about the questions or challenges you brought in?”
“Is there anything you would like us to approach differently?”
These check-ins are an important part of good psychological practice. They create opportunities to make sure therapy remains relevant, safe, and tailored to the person in front of the psychologist.
At the same time, your feedback is an invaluable part of the process. You do not need to wait until therapy has completely stopped feeling useful before saying something. Letting your psychologist know what is or is not helping can give you both an opportunity to make adjustments.
You might say:
“I feel like we understand where my anxiety is coming from, but I don't feel like I have enough strategies for managing it when it happens”; or
“I find that I am leaving our sessions feeling quite overwhelmed. Could we spend some time at the end of sessions working on strategies to help me regulate before I leave?”
These conversations can feel uncomfortable, but they can also be an important part of the therapeutic process.
What Can You Do If You Feel Stuck?
If therapy does not feel like it is working, there are several things you can do before deciding that therapy itself has failed.
Revisit your treatment goals
Clear, realistic, and measurable goals can make progress easier to recognise.
For example, “I want to stop my anxiety” is a very broad and unrealistic goal. Instead, you might create goals such as:
“I want to notice my anxious thoughts earlier in the spiral.”
“When I notice my anxiety increasing, I want to practise a relaxation or regulation strategy.”
“I want to become more confident in recognising when I am becoming overwhelmed and knowing what to do next.”
These goals provide a clearer pathway towards change and make it easier to notice progress over time.
Talk to your psychologist
If something does not feel right, say so. Your psychologist cannot always know what you are experiencing unless you tell them.
You can discuss whether the pace, focus, techniques, or overall approach feels helpful. This conversation may lead to useful adjustments without needing to change psychologists.
Consider whether a different approach may be helpful
Sometimes you may need something different from what you initially thought you needed.
For example, you might realise that understanding the causes of your anxiety is less important to you right now than learning practical skills to manage it when it occurs.
This is something you can discuss with your psychologist. Together, you can consider whether another therapeutic modality or a different focus within your current treatment may better match your needs.
Look for the subtle signs of progress
Progress is not always dramatic. It might look like noticing an anxious thought five minutes earlier than you used to, recovering more quickly after becoming overwhelmed, responding differently in a difficult conversation, or being able to use a skill that previously felt impossible to access.
Journaling, mood tracking, or simply noticing small changes in your behaviour can help make these changes more visible.
When It Might Be Time to Switch or Pause Therapy
Sometimes, even after honest conversations and adjustments, therapy may still not feel like the right fit. That is okay.
Changing psychologists
A different psychologist may offer a different perspective, therapeutic style, or area of experience that is better suited to your needs. It’s always encouraged that clients approach this conversation directly with their treating psychologist. However, if doing so creates a barrier to continued treatment, then a conversation with our intake coordinator can help you consider whether another psychologist may be a better fit.
Taking a break
There may also be times when taking a break from therapy is appropriate. A pause can provide an opportunity to step back, reassess your needs, and reconnect with other things that support your wellbeing.
This might include physical activity, spending time with people you care about, creative activities, hobbies, or simply doing things that bring you a sense of enjoyment or meaning.
A Few Things to Keep in Mind
Feeling stuck in therapy does not necessarily mean that therapy has failed. Sometimes it is simply a sign that something needs to be looked at more closely.
Good therapy involves an ongoing process of checking in, understanding what is helping, identifying what is not, and adjusting the work when needed. Your psychologist has a responsibility to provide appropriate, evidence-based treatment and to adapt that treatment to your individual needs. You also have an important role in communicating your experience and letting your psychologist know when something does not feel right.
Ultimately, therapy works best when both people are engaged in the process.
And sometimes, despite everyone's best efforts, a particular approach or therapeutic relationship may still not be the right fit. In those circumstances, taking a break, revisiting your goals, trying a different therapeutic approach, or connecting with another psychologist may be the most helpful next step.
The goal is not to stay in therapy simply because you started. The goal is to find an approach that helps you move towards the changes that matter to you.